Though He Slay Me

I quoted this verse for a year, and somehow it got me through. “Though He slay me, yet shall I trust Him.” (Job 13:15) I was teaching in a rough environment, and there was that one student who slayed me daily. I thought I was living right and loving Jesus, but this child came to school every day to vex my spirit—of that I am convinced. I apologized to God for the wrong I was sure I hadn’t done, but I apologized anyway if that could get me out. I’ve written about this part before because my friend came through later to tell me that iron sharpens iron. Boo! I didn’t want to be sharpened. And then this week happened. As I cried to a friend over a broken relationship, I told her I was back to that verse in Job. “Though He slay me, yet shall I trust Him.” And then I cried some more and asked, Why me, God? Why can’t I just have a nice, insulated life without all of this pain? My sweet friend asked me if I had ever watched Unsung. I told her I had not, and then she told me about an episode on Marvin Sapp. He said in his interview that it seems as if his greatest music comes after the greatest tragedies. Through death, loss, and a broken heart, he sang what probably both believers and nonbelievers can sing by heart. That kind of music comes from a broken place. This type of writing comes from a broken place. I don’t know why God orchestrates it this way. I do know that I can only write relatable content if I have endured some things that others have endured. I know I can only express what God allows me to go through…at least once I said YES to God. This blog was a year in the making. I thought that last year was a year of slaying, but God had more slaying to do. He had to knock down my stubbornness, pride, and arrogance, and desire to do things my way. Yet somehow here we both are reaping the benefits of my slaying. What is God slaying in your life? Are you angry about it or have you recognized it’s for a purpose? Stay tuned for an upcoming blog on what can happen in 100 days. You would be surprised what you can do with a heart that is willing to say YES.