Angie Exposed

In yesterday’s blog I opened up a conversation about depression affecting church members, and today I want to talk about anger. Last night my pastor asked two questions, and I have to say I was surprised by the honesty in the answers. The first question was how many of us had been angry at someone in the past 48 hours, and most responded that we had been angry at someone. The second question addressed our response, basically asking us to acknowledge that the way we respond to people who anger us directly corresponds with how much time we have spent in the presence of God. By the end of the message all of my toes had been stepped on, and they needed to be. Months ago I heard two other pastors say that anger is typically a go-to emotion in men, but the older I get I recognize that anger is typically mine as well. As I listened to two stories about mean girls earlier in the week, just the very anecdotes elicited a particularly angry response within me (and from my mouth), and after hearing last night’s sermon I know that I would have responded differently if I had been spending more time with God. In all honesty, my first response is never to turn the other cheek, nor is it to pray for the person. In fact I tend to get angry about mistreatment of others rather than first praying for the person or talking to God about ways to best handle mistreatment. Now I know why it’s not my first response. Because I haven’t spent enough time praying in general. I will listen to sermons and listen to the audio Bible, but I have not spend real time praying and it shows. A long time ago when my close friend used to call me Angry Woman, it took me awhile to realize that my anger at other people was not going to change them or their behavior. What God wanted to do with me was to work inside of me to change my response. And here I am feeling like, looking like, and acting like I am back at square one. However, God sent a man of God to preach an amazing message that was a mirror to who I have almost become. I do not want Angry Woman to be my name ever again. Instead I will acknowledge that people are going to do things and say things that aren’t kind, but that does not give me a license to respond in anger. Interestingly enough the next part of the sermon series will be walking in love. Boy, is it clear that God is still working on me!