Advice I Would Give My Younger Self

Here I sit at the purple laptop writing away, and I overhear two college students studying for comps. I had to stop and ask questions as I heard them talk about a subject near and dear to my heart—autism. I leaned over and asked them if it was okay if I asked questions about the latest research, and then I wished them the best on the comps. What I see is two young women full of enthusiasm, confidence, and the ability to conquer the world. That used to be me, and then life happened. Every time I see young people who are full of life a small part of me starts to worry. I worry about if they know that trouble will eventually come to their door, and then I wonder if they will be able to cope. I keep looking back over my life and wondering where I missed the boat, and my best guess is that I was sheltered for a long time. I never knew about any health, money, or work problems my parents may have had because they kept them from me. Eventually I would learn about family problems, but it wasn’t enough to fully forewarn me of what was yet to come in my own life. I would love to go back and tell my younger self to always be prepared, but would it have done any good? I do remember my mother’s sharpest retort to me in a tearful moment. I was crying to her because I had heard through the grapevine what a family member thought of me, and my mom stared blankly and said it was good that I was learning this lesson early in life. She also said, “Angie, people are going to talk about you from now until you die. They’ll even talk about you after you die, and there’s nothing you can do about it. Live your life and don’t worry about what people say.” Even though those weren’t the warmest or fuzziest of words she could have said, she was right, and I still remember them almost 30 years later. How much time have I not done something because I was worried what someone would say? In addition, if someone said something negative how long did I stay down rather than bouncing back quickly? Another great lesson I learned from my mom. So let me say this in my parents’ defense. No, they didn’t sit down and tell me what problems they faced or problems I may face later in life. Instead they demonstrated resilience and a tenacity that eventually became grafted into my own nature. It was a long time coming for my younger self to grow up to be my still yet to be matured self, but I’m embracing the process.