How Soon I Forgot/On Being Judgmental

I found myself judging just days later when I was confronted with a group I considered to be hateful. I instantly hardened my heart and thought there is no hope for “these people.” I’m ashamed to even write this. The very next day on a Sunday I heard a beautiful praise and worship song, and I had no idea who the artist was. When I googled the lyrics, I turned my nose up and said, How did he write a song like this? Wasn’t he caught up in a scandal? Wow, Angie. Let’s tell the people the truth. I could be caught up in my own public scandals, but the only difference is I’m not famous. As my pastor reminds us, I would NOT want God to show a movie of my indiscretions, disobedience, and sins. Sins of which there are many. In my moments on Sunday listening to this worship song, God brought so much back to my mind. Not of my sin, but of the enormous amount of forgiveness He has extended to me. All I could do was hang my head and say thank you. The truth is all of us have sinned, and all of us struggle with sin. Our main problem with each other is that we dislike people who don’t sin like us. I’ve been guilty of this for years, and honestly I don’t know how long it is going to take me to have a changed heart. Which leads me to the second thing God revealed to me on Sunday. All this time I have been hesitant to answer the call to write because of my outward sins, but God showed me that it is/was the condition of my heart that saddens Him the most. You know that verse that says don’t grieve the Holy Spirit? I need to study it more, but I am confident that my judgmental heart has to grieve Jesus because of His sacrifice for me on the cross. He knew everything I would ever do and still gave His life for me. For sinner me. For heathen me. For wretched me. That is a love that is hard for many of us to grasp and comprehend. I don’t know what my face will do the next time I am confronted with someone who sins differently, but I do know that the real issue is the condition of my heart. Thank you, Heavenly Father, that the Holy Spirit is working in me to reveal and to change this heart.