Hateration

As much as I would like to tell you that I listen to gospel music 24/7, I don’t. I’m a dancer so I listen to what I hear in class and I just plain listen to what makes my feet and my heart move. So on the way to lunch I heard “Family Affair”, which took me back to my Mary J. Blige days. She was singing about hateration in 2001, and are we still engaging in hateration? Oh, that’s right. We call it being petty now. Not cute and definitely not a good look on anyone. Have I been jealous before and hated on other people? Yes, I have. Not only that, I’ve allowed my jealousy of other people’s things to cause me to be angry with God. God, can’t you see those people with a house, and you don’t have one for me? God, don’t you see that woman in a stable relationship, and you don’t have one for me? Me…me…me…God, what about me? When I was in that place, I couldn’t see the ugliness. Not only was it all over my face, but the root was in my heart. Jealousy so thick that I couldn’t be happy for other people. So what was my cure? I had to learn to be a blessing to other people. I remember taking a ring off of my finger and giving it to someone else. The same person who was begging God for money was handing away jewelry to someone else without expecting anything in return. I won’t name other instances, but I gave away some of my possessions and money as God placed people on my heart. So my cure was giving away things so that I could learn to put things in perspective. Most recently because of a ticket, I didn’t drive my car for the first 16 days of this year. Guess what? It was freeing! I learned to appreciate the basic privilege of driving myself around. Even these snow days have reminded me of the value of a lunch out, even if it was nothing fancy. I’ve learned from experience that I take too many things that I have for granted and then spend too much time coveting what I don’t have. Mary J. sang that song in 2001, and I find myself still relating to it. Today I’m going to pray and ask God for forgiveness and that He will remove the ugliness in my own heart that still rears its ugly head. No more coveting and no more hateration.