On Being Jealous

An amazing thing happened last week. I woke up happy! I woke up happy on Wednesday, Thursday AND Friday. This was a record for me because I’m usually waking up with a million things on my mind, not all bad, but rarely am I in the moment and just grateful. Last week I was there. But then something happened that I have to admit happens more often than I want to own up to. I saw that someone else’s blog was doing better, and I felt slighted. No, I was jealous. I had been so excited about writing this blog, and then I allowed myself to compare myself to someone else, and instead of being happy for the other person, I was jealous. Thank God for this journey of transparency because it forced me to acknowledge the jealousy immediately and address it. Angie, you are finally doing something that makes you want to get up in the morning and seize the day. You are finally in a place of peace and joy, and you’re going to let someone else’s success derail you? No, no, no! It wasn’t a good look for a moment, but then I shook it off. I wrote a few notes about what I had to be thankful for and how this is a season of trusting what God is doing in my life and where He is taking me. As the day progressed it got better and better and better. By the end of the day, this is the message I sent my prayer warrior friend: “Happy Friday!!! I can't believe that this is how happy writing and walking in purpose makes me. I needed last year to be unfruitful to fully understand how much joy fruitfulness brings!” In times past I never understood when people said you needed rain to make you appreciate the sunshine. Those sages are so right. Last year was definitely a year of doing a lot of soul searching and internal work, but this year with less weight I can move forward with purpose. I wouldn’t really appreciate this new season without the pain of last season. To God be the glory for continuing to work in us even after we stumble and fall and stumble again!